what wires should be connected to the pos sise of my starter relay

Does the picture look like your starter relay? make sure battery has a full charge and connections all good. Use a long shank screwdriver touch the two large brass terminals at the same time. The starter motor should crank the engine. If you try that, make sure transmission is in park or neutral and parking brake is set. Vehicle can't move. If key is in on position when you jump the relay, the vehicle may start and run, depending on the problem. In the picture that smaller silver terminal, goes hot with key in the crank position, also there is a fuse. Plus that circuit goes through either the clutch switch or the transmission range sensor, depending on the type of transmission. if you jump those two large terminals that bypasses the smaller control terminal. good luck

Note the diagram for starter motor.