how to put the 4 runner in 4 low

Umm don't know on your car, but usually there is a second shifter or a switch somewhere(usually a shifter to the front and to the right of a floor shifter or a control to the left of the stearing wheel, seems to be the industry standard), and I've never seen a car where they aren't labeled(usually if there is a special procedure there is a nearby sticker with instructions. Or your owners manual will tell you. Sorry never actually driven or worked on a 4Runner so this is completely generalized, hopefully it helps or someone who knows will says something

you need to be stoped and in neutral and the lever should be marked but i thinks its all the way forward

You need to be stopped. Depress clutch. Move the 4X shifter (the little guy) to the 4L position, which is (I think) to the right and up. If it's hard to get in there, try it with the car in different gears (1st, reverse, etc). Be sure you have the hubs locked...it may still go in, just isn't good for it.

Depending on your transfer case, you either pull the 4wd lever down, right and all the way forward, or if its electric you press 4wd button and push lever all the way forward