traction control stabilizer malfunction

Scan it for DTC codes.

I just purchased a 2012 Yukon slt a few weeks ago & this keeps happening all of a sudden... It's scary your right lights flashing all over the dash saying traction controls, abs, park assist is all off or malfunctioning n all of a sudden the radio cut off n the door locks start acting like they are pocessed locking n unlocking like machine guns n power seemingly flashes on the dash n then it shudders like the trans has a temporarily loss of power n back on... N then so far it quits n drives normal again til the next pocession attacks lol...but in all seriousness it has me worried,my family travels in this regularly n wouldn't be so bad but the same exact day it began my 07 toyota 4runner v8 2wd began so stopped buy auto zone replaced battery n vehicle transmission speed sensor n it sttill is doing almost the exact same thing as my 2012 Yukon XLT 4WD ...idk if I'm looking at sabatoge,coincidentally stuff just happening, or 2 diff probs w/ similar symptoms by chance as well...its almost like my autos were "zapped" lol the same nite n my next door neighbors long haul big rig parked literally about 10feet from my two autos the same time frame with its hood open overnight... N he to goes out to his trucks turbo completely shot n has had to stay home like 6 extra days to get one n have installed ...this guy never stays home more than 2 days n is gone for weeks at a time so... But I just can't get over the cpincidences... I know sounds nuts but all is 110% true...if you have any suggestions for me short of a loose ground...plase lemme know.. N thanx!