04 Accent Fuel pump relay issues

Last month the fuel pump went bad.  I replaced the fuel pump and found that ECM relay had caused the fuel pump issue (had a windshield leak).  I resealed the windshield and replaced the relay.  The vehicle started and ran like normal once.  I turned the vehicle off and it wouldn't start again.  I checked all the fuses and everything checked out.  I removed the cover to the fuel pump relay and found the relay was not kicking the fuel pump on.  I manually pressed the contacts together and heard the fuel pump running.  Car starts and runs.  If I release the contacts they continue to stay in place and the car will run until turned off.  If you try and restart the car the contacts do not make contact and you manually have to make contact to get it to run.  I checked the pins firing the relay.  I found battery voltage on one side of the fuel pump circuit and the other ohm's out to the fuel pump.  The relay side of the contacts, I have battery voltage on one when the key is turned on and the other side it ohm's .020 to ground when the key is in the on position.  According to the wiring diagram this is correct and I don't see anything causing the relay to not fire correctly.  I replaced the relay with a known good relay and it still doesn't fire.  I pulled the relay up enough I could check the pins on the relay while in the connector and the pins have the same voltage and grounds as before.  I am stumped, the relay by the diagrams I have should be working properly.  The only thing I can think of is the ground on the one side has to much resistance not to fire the relay but if that is what is causing it why would the relay continue to fire only after manually touching the contacts.  The only thing I can think of is the ECM but I hate to waste a couple hundred bucks on a guess.  Anyone have a diagnostic test on the fuel pump relay circuit so I could make sure before buying a new ECM or any idea's on what the problem could be?