First time BMW e46, in DESPERATE need of opinions

I'm nineteen and it's time for me to get my first car. I've procrastinated for a long time
because I couldn't bring a car on campus for my first year of college. But now I'm a
sophomore and I'll be a junior this fall.

I don't want a big car that's hard to maneuver and handle. I feel like a BMW 3 series
sedan model is perfect for me. This model is still in style and looks great. It's very
sporty looking, it's not too masculine and it's the perfect size.

My max budget is $5,000 . I've been looking around online and there are plenty for
sale. But I don't know anything about cars. I was thinking about buying one from a
private seller rather than a dealership because negotiating is easier. And usually you
can talk the person down on the price much easier. What's your take on this?

Here are my questions:

-I'm aiming for AT LEAST a 2003 , so anything from '03 - '05. How many miles is too
many for a '03 - '05 model?
-How is the maintenance? I need something reliable. I have heard that BMW's are very
expensive to maintain, how true is this? I'm a college student so money isn't laying
around how I'd like it to be. Am I in over my head wanting this kind of car? I'm a girl, I
don't know how to do any service on cars.
-What questions do I ask? Should I have it inspected?
-If I get one from a dealership, do I still get it inspected? I don't want to buy a car that
looks nice on the outside and a week after driving off the lot, it starts to fall apart and
become a money pit.

I am definitely open to other car suggestions. I also like the sporty looking Scion TC
because it's spacious but also small. But it's a two door. They're also expensive and
I've had a hard time trying to find one in my price range. The '04-08 Acura TL are very
nice  but the model is kind of long and a bit big.

Thanks to whoever reads this helps me out. It is greatly appreciated! Thank you!!