2011 outback transmission issues

I have a 2011 Subaru Outback. The car has 208,000
miles on it. I drive a lot of highway miles 100 a day.
The other day the AT oil temp light came on with a
cluster of other lights. Called a dealer in Columbus.
$200.00 to look it over. Long story short either a
new transmission  for $8 k or reman for $3,000 or a
torque converter for $3,000. When I asked about a
transmission fluid change the response I got was
perplexing. Well I would not do anything yet, we are
not sure what exactly is wrong, the lights may not
come back on after reprogramming. So the higher
priced items would have been ok to do? The other
issue I am having trouble is at 194,000 I had
another shop replace some belts and other things,
the shop guy suggested I call and see if anything
needed be done with the transmission, the dealer
said nothing needed done fluid was good for life. I
asked for his definition of life, he stated till the
wheels fall off.  Just my general knowledge finds
this hard to believe, and more frustrating after
reading posts here my assumptions are right.  My
car has always ran fine, no noises from
transmission, no hard shifts, no symptoms of bad
transmission. The only thing I may have missed, or
being hyper sensitive too, is sometimes the car will
fill like a tire is out of balance. Right now I am
planning on going to another dealer who is known
to change fluids at 120,000 intervals. Any thoughts?
How would some of you proceed? Sell it as soon as
code is gone? Need advice. Has been a good car
until now.